


Invisible Scars (Waiting For Daylight)

by MakeMeFamous



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-22
Updated: 2015-02-22
Packaged: 2018-03-14 14:56:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3414938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MakeMeFamous/pseuds/MakeMeFamous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke's past comes back to haunt her in the form of a nightmare. Luckily Lexa is there to comfort her.</p>
<p>A Clexa one shot, loosely inspired by <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CcKbWhEluE">this.</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	Invisible Scars (Waiting For Daylight)

**Author's Note:**

> I guess this could be considered a sort of a sequel to Dead Hearts, though there is a time jump and neither is required to understand the other. Anyways, I wrote the whole thing today and in a single go, so apologies if it comes off as rushed. Hope you enjoy.

Clarke’s world was filled with nothing but darkness. She turned her head, hoping to see something else, anything, but was met with nothing else than the same thick, impenetrable darkness. It was as if she had been thrown into space where all the stars had been extinguished, leaving her with nothing but the cold void. She tried to remember how she had gotten here, wherever here was, but her mind was slow and sluggish.

In any other circumstances this would’ve been something she could’ve dealt with - she had spent almost her whole life in space after all. Most of her last year there, the time she spent in her cell, had gone by with either drawing, or just staring out of the window right into the black abyss that she called home - sort of anyway. So she had gotten used to the nothingness, the darkness, and eventually learned to find comfort in it. It was all she had had in her isolation after all. But this was not the same kind of calm silence she had known in space, nor was it the sort of darkness she had discovered on earth during the nights, the one that was alive with all sorts of distant sounds and faint smells. This one was more eerie, ominous even, and it made her skin crawl and her breath catch in her throat.

She tried calling out, but was met with nothing once again - not even an echo.

She was alone.

Her heartbeat picked up at the realization, her breathing matching the erratic rhythm. She was straining every single cell in her brain to figure out what had happened, what would have brought her here, but once again felt unable to form even the most basic of thoughts. The rising panic clouding her mind wasn’t helping either.

She closed her eyes, willing herself to calm down.

_I have to calm down._

She took large gulps of air, hands squeezed tightly into fists to control the shaking, not entirely caused by the cold.

_I need to get out of here._

Another set of deep breaths, accompanied by the sensation of her hands steadying a bit.

_But where is here?_

She opened up her eyes again, turning her head wildly, searching for anything familiar: the warm glow of a torch in the distance, a glint of the eyes of some nocturnal animal or even a faint trace of a star in the sky.

Nothing.

Her brain still felt like it was working on half of it’s normal capacity; like she was looking at the world through some sort of hazy fog. Vague notions of hallucinogenic effects of some of the plants she thought she remembered flashed by in her mind, but she couldn’t concentrate long enough to remember anything specific.

_I need to get out of here!_

With a sudden jolt, determined to escape whatever this place she had found herself in was, she tried to move her foot. To her surprise, it actually moved. Gazing down she could actually see herself and her feet, but had no idea what she was standing on. There was no solid ground beneath her feet, just more of the pitch black void.

Ignoring the uncomfortable shivers this knowledge sent through her, she moved her other foot, holding her breath and expecting to just fall into the darkness. But she didn’t. So she started walking slowly, at first waiting for almost a minute between each step, but gradually increasing her pace until she was at last walking normally.

As she walked, she kept hoping to see or hear something that would tell her she was not alone, but after what felt like hours she had made no progress whatsoever. In fact it was as if she hadn’t moved at all. The familiar anxiety was bubbling under the surface, but she kept it down as best she could. There had to be a way out, had to be hope.

After what felt like another hour or so, the ground suddenly changed. She didn’t realize it at first, but the further she went, the harder it became to walk. It was as if the nonexistent ground she was walking on had turned into a muddy swamp, her feet getting stuck every time they touched it.

Realizing this she glanced down, anticipating to see some familiar patch of the forest, anything she could use to track her whereabouts. There were only so many swamps close by after all. At first it seemed like her feet were being slowly wrapped by some sort of branches or vines, which confused her. She had seen a lot of rapid growing plants in the Ark, genetically modified so they could get enough food in the limited time and space they had, but nothing like this.

She squinted her eyes, trying to see past the darkness overwhelming her senses. It took a few moments, but she finally realized what they were. Dozens and dozens of hands with various sizes and shapes, each with long hook-like fingers reaching at her from out of nowhere, locking themselves onto her. It was like she was thrown right into one of those zombie films she had secretly watched when she was younger, standing on a graveyard while the undead rose to kill their victim. Only here there was nothing but the cold, dead hands holding her in place. Cold fear, unlike anything she had ever felt before, flooded her whole body in a single crashing wave. She tried to jerk her legs free, but it was hopeless. One wild jerk was all she managed, she was paralyzed by fear. So she closed her eyes and waited.

“Clarke!”

The familiar sound forced her eyes open. She had thought she would never hear that voice again. She had hoped and prayed she would eventually forget it, but here it was again, reminding her. Taunting her.

_Finn…_

The darkness around her remained unchanged, but she could now see faint outlines of what she thought were people. And they were slowly but surely closing in on her.

_This can’t be happening. Please, I...I can’t…_

“Clarke.”

There it was again, though it wasn’t quite the same as she remembered it to be. It was cold, emotionless. Clarke tried to move her legs once again, but she was still firmly locked in place. The shadowy figures were close, too close. Her heart felt like it would blast out of her chest any minute.

“Why did you do it, Clarke?”

Most of the figures were close enough now for her to recognize them; endless rows of faceless Grounders. She could see their burnt clothes and black skin, and suddenly smell all of it too. The overwhelming stench of burnt flesh and fabric was making her nauseous and disoriented. 

And still, among all of the faceless people surrounding her, she could easily spot Finn. He wasn’t burnt like the others, instead bleeding from where Clarke had plunged the knife, the blood dripping down his clothes and vanishing once it hit the dark surface. He was staring straight at Clarke, and looking into those brown eyes the nausea became almost unbearable and she felt like the air around her was toxic.

“Why, Clarke? Why did you kill me?” Finn asked in a hollow voice, his eyes never leaving Clarke.

“I...I had no c-choice. They were going to kill you anyway,” Clarke stuttered through the tears that had started flowing down her face. Everyone was still walking towards her, slowly but surely. There was no more than a few feet between them and Clarke now.

She was shaking violently, jerking her feet to try and free herself. Her tears were unbearably hot on her cheeks, burning her like she had burned the Grounders. She could spot other people among the faceless crowd now; people she had killed or whose deaths she felt responsible for. Atom, Anya, the people they lost in Mount Weather. All staring back at her, faces devoid of any emotion, other than hatred.

Suddenly they were standing right next to her, the smell of burnt flesh and blood overpowering her senses.

“It’s your time to suffer now,” Finn said in chorus with all the other figures around him.

And before she could say or do anything, Finn’s bloody hands were on her throat, choking her. She tried to scream, but the only sound she heard was the blood pumping in her ears.

~*~

She was still screaming, her hands and legs swinging wildly when she jolted awake. She saw the low hanging roof of the tent, the rough handmade furniture scattered around the smaller section that functioned as a bedroom, and the dim light emanating from behind the thin curtain of furs leading to the larger part of the tent, but her fear-ridden brain couldn’t properly process any of them. All she could think about was the darkness and the cold hands on her throat.

A strong pair of hands encircled her from behind, holding her still, while a voice currently foreign to her gently whispered in her ear. Clarke kept thrashing around, or trying anyway, but she was once again firmly locked down, though there was still a certain tenderness to the hold. It was firm, but not overbearing. And it was warm, a pleasant change to the cold of the void she had just emerged from.

After a few moments the panic died down, and she let herself relax a bit, trying to calm her breathing and erratic heartbeat. She let her eyes slowly wander around the tent, while taking in the sensation of the steady arms around her, and the warm body pressed against her back. The whispers slowly came into focus as well, providing the last bit of reassurance she needed to know she was indeed back at the tent, with Lexa nestled behind her trying to calm her down.

“...it’s okay Clarke, you’re safe. I’m here with you, it was just a dream.” Lexa’s tone was strong, but gentle and it was just the thing Clarke needed to anchor herself back to reality. This was the side of Lexa no one else ever saw, the side Clarke felt so privileged to be able to experience. When she was alone with the blonde she turned into a whole other woman - compassionate and warm. It had taken weeks for Lexa to be able to fully let her walls down and relax around the blonde, but it had been worth the wait. And while the cold and calculative Commander persona still lingered beneath it all, it was more than Clarke could have ever dared hope for. 

She let out a relieved sigh, as her breathing finally returned to normal. Lexa went silent and instead of her quiet whispers, Clarke felt light kisses on the back of her her neck and on her shoulder. Lexa’s hands were still draped around her waist, though their hold was greatly lessened, setting her previously bound hands free.

Clarke was afraid that the slightest of movements could somehow break this unexpected moment of serenity, but she took the risk to move her hand enough to intertwine her fingers with Lexa’s. She knew the other woman would want to know about her dreams, to know if she could help Clarke to deal with them in any way, but right now she just wanted to lay here and hold onto this moment. And that’s exactly what they did.

~*~

“Do you want to talk about it?”

The soft whisper brought Clarke back to the present, out of the dark thoughts circling in her head. She had no clue how long they had been lying there, entangled in each other. It was still dark outside, as far as she could tell through the fabric of the tent, so it couldn’t have been too long.

She let go of Lexa’s hand, already missing the comforting contact, and turned around to face the brunette. Lexa’s now free hand reached around Clarke instantly, settling on her lower back, while the other one was tangled in the blonde hair, caressing it gently.

Staring into the green eyes of her lover, filled with worry, she wanted nothing more than to do just that. But the thought of having to relive the horrors her mind saw fit to inflict upon her was just too much, so she just closed her eyes, shaking her head slightly. A single tear escaped her, leaving a hot trail after it as it made it’s way down her face and disappeared into the furs the two women were encased in.

“It’s okay Clarke, you don’t have to talk,” Lexa murmured, the hand on Clarke’s bare back offering a soft and reassuring squeeze. “But I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s wrong,” she said softly, “I do know a thing or two about trying to bury all your emotions, you know,” she added with a timid smile.

The blonde was silent for a moment, lost in thought. While they had talked about Lexa’s past here and there, the conversations had been very brief. She didn’t want to push Lexa, she would talk to Clarke when she was ready. And even if she would never be, it would be okay with Clarke; she understood what it felt like to want to forget your past all too well.

As intrigued as she was with the opportunity, she couldn’t find it in herself to do it now, with the dream still fresh in her memory. Be that as it may, she still owed Lexa something. She didn’t want to shut out the person she cared most after all.

“I just… I can’t lose anyone else,” she muttered, burying her face in the brunette’s chest to hide her glassy eyes, glistening with unshed tears threatening to spill at any moment. “Especially you,” she added with a sniffle.

Lexa tightened her hold on the blonde, while firmly whispering into her ear: “You won’t. I’m right here Clarke, I’ll always be right here.” Clarke let out a quiet whimper, defiantly holding back her tears. “And with the alliance stronger than ever after our...announcement, and the Mountain Men finally gone, your friends are safe too,” Lexa added softly, her fingers trailing random patterns on Clarke’s back.

“I know, I just… I still get scared sometimes,” Clarke muttered against the other woman’s chest.

“You’d be stupid not to,” Lexa said, softly stroking Clarke’s messy hair. “But we’ll keep each other safe,” she added firmly, emphasized by a tender kiss on top of the blonde’s head, finally prompting her to come out of hiding.

With her eyes now focused on Lexa’s green ones, she saw a fire in them that made her feel thankful she had met this amazing woman. It gave her the courage to say what she had been wanting to say for the last few weeks, but had opted against to avoid looking weak. But this look in Lexa’s eyes made her realize she didn’t care how it made her seem, nor would she hold it against her.

“You know,” Clarke started, voice hoarse from all the screaming before, “I’ve lived most of my life inside The Ark, impenetrable and away from everything, yet in here, in this tent that doesn’t even have a proper door is where I’ve always felt most safe. Most at home.”

Clarke had never seen Lexa cry, but right at this moment she could’ve sweared she saw the tiniest tear escape the brunette’s eyes. It was impossible to tell in the dark room, and she knew better than to ask, but she was sure of what she saw it and it made the moment feel all the more special.

She knew thinking about this tent, this place, as her home was a dangerous thought, but she realized that right now she didn’t really give a shit about what everyone else would think. This was where she was supposed to be, where she wanted to be. They could work out the politics of what it meant later.

After a long moment filled with gentle caresses and longing stares, Lexa finally broke the silence: “Clarke, while I see no real benefit to it, if you want a door all you have to do is ask,” she said with a gleeful smirk.

“Maybe I will,” was all Clarke managed before they were both shaking with laughter, the solemn atmosphere of the tent gone as fast as it had appeared.

As the amusement winded down, Lexa locked eyes with Clarke once again, a sudden hint of lust clouding her eyes which sent shivers down Clarke’s body.

“But until then, let me give you something better to dream about,” she said with a mischievous glint in her eyes, the hand on Clarke’s back finding it’s way to the back of her thing. “Unless you are too tired from our earlier… activities,” she added, her other hand pulling the blonde’s head back slightly so she could plant light kisses on the blonde’s neck. She took the silent moans and whimpers as approval, as she kept going lower.

And true enough, an hour later as Clarke was screaming Lexa’s name in the throes of passion, the nightmares were all but forgotten.


End file.
